A matter of substance.

The COVID TimeLine hasn't been great for a lot of people, I'm no exception. During this period I've felt more isolated and lonely than ever. It hasn't been unmanageable. Unfortunately some of the ways I've been managing are neither productive or healthy.

Boiled down, I'm conscious that I've been drinking a lot more. Problematically, I'm drinking more when I'm bored or lonely. This has almost become habitual. A bit like boredom or fugue eating, but with adult beverages.

While I'd been conscious of the behavior I wasn't too proactive about changing it until last week.

Last week, while at a dinner with an out-of-town friend I've not seen in a while I politely declined their offer to buy me a drink. "Yes, but no." We talked about that for a bit, the whys and wheres of it. The talk put my head in a better place, going from conscious of the habit to acknowledging it as problematic.

After dinner, on my drive home, I thought some more taking my head from acknowledgement to resolution and accountability.

In short, no booze for a while. Hard cut.

Any time I feel like I want a to drink because I'm bored or lonely I'll acknowledge that feeling, then pivot to something else to appease that feeling. Spend some time studying Japanese. Go running. Play a short game. Complete a random chore around the house. Ping a friend to say hello.  Ya know, other stuff than grabbing an adult beverage to fill the space.

I'm holding myself accountable for this, I'll spare any readers the details of that.

Related, understanding my recent problematic use of alcohol has made me less interested in trying cannabis edibles. I could easily see myself just swapping booze for pot in that boredom cycle.