I'm putting an indefinite pin in migrating out of California.

The reality of the situation is that my primary reason for relocating hasn't existed for thirteen months. The overwhelming driver was to be nearer my remaining ParentalUnit in the event of an incident. That need evaporated when said ParentalUnit announced their intention to move into a senior's community close to one of my SiblingUnits.

COVID-19 shot my secondary relocation reason in the face. My work world shifted 100% virtual nine months ago and will continue to be 100% virtual for the next year. There is no "physical office" for me to relocate to--presently--that is "better for my career" with my current employer. It's unclear what the office and remote work landscape are going to look like when The Virus Timeline resolves itself.

My tertiary reason was stupid and should never have been a reason in the first place. As tough a pill to swallow as it is, simply moving somewhere else won't make me a happier person. My happiness grind is that I'm lonely. Moving won't make me not lonely, I'll just be lonely somewhere else. It was always in the back of my mind that relocating for the other two reasons would also mean a change of social scenery that could be good but in and of itself isn't a strong reason to move.

Until significantly compelling reasons again emerge, I'm going to be sticking around the Bay Area.

Everything went bear-shaped.

Yesterday afternoon a friend stuffed me into a large inflatable/wearable pool toy thing.  I have some thoughts.

 

The TLDR regarding to the pool toy aesthetic, it is not my jam. I get it. I understand it. It's not a thing that personally attracts me. It wasn't a thing I had to worry or think about too much and didn't detract from the fun, tho.

The overall experience is a bit more nuanced. This particular experience was about trying a new thing, not about finding a headspace in it.  I did, kinda, briefly. That was kinda cool.  I can see a path toward a head space that could work for me if I want to follow it there in the future.

Stuff that I dug:

• Sensory Deprivation - I had practically zero spacial awareness.  Couldn't see. Couldn't smell anything other pool-toy vinyl. My hearing was muffled. My movement was--at best--difficult. The awkwardness of it was blissfully disorienting.
• Comfort - Being zipped up a bear-shaped plastic bladder was surprisingly comfortable. When I wasn't worrying about falling over--only a small worry--the feeling of PVC compressing in from all sides was blissful. The more it was pumped up the more comfortable it became.  The warmth/heat inside of it was also very comforting. A relaxed state came quite easily.
• Restriction - More than the feel of clouds gently compressing in from all around, you also become pretty useless. You're pretty much stuck in there, wherever you're standing, until somebody takes you out. That was interesting.

Stuff I didn't dig:

• Concerted effort to keep the breathing tube in my mouth - There's some risk with this experience, fortunately I throughly trust the person I was playing with so I never felt that I was in any danger. That said, you've got keep conscious about biting down on the breathing tube to make sure it stays in your mouth.  It's not so bad when the thing is really well pumped up but a lower pressures, it could be a problem. I think that this would better with either a modified CPAP mask and anesthesia mask strapped around the victim's head, especially for longer-term sensory deprivation experiences.

There's bliss to be found in being bubbled up inside rolled into the corner for a few hours to just chill out and ponder the nature of existence. I've always been curious about inflatable sleep-sacks. now I know that's probably very much up my alley in terms of sense dep. The outward aesthetic, well...I don't know that it matters all that to me as the person inside of it so on that front, whatever works for somebody else is fine by me.

It's been a minute.

It's been a minute since I've used this blog. Coming back to it as a place to ramble about things I need to ramble about that don't fit well in Twitter's short 240 characters.